An example of me helping someone undo their fear

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He said: I'm worried about my health getting worse and worse.

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I said: It sounds like you're worried about your health deteriorating over time, and that this decline might become a bigger problem. Is that a fair way to put it, or is there a specific aspect of your health you're most concerned about?

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He said: No, that's good.

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I said: Great. Now let's simplify that worry into a short expression. How about: "I'm scared my health will keep getting worse"? Does that capture it, or would you tweak it a bit?

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He said: That nails it.

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I said: Alright, now I'd like you to be in touch with that fear: "I'm scared my health will keep getting worse." Imagine the possibility of it happening and feel that fear.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being just a little bit of fear and 10 being the worst it could be, where would you rank it?

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He said: Hmmm. It seems about a 6.​

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I said: Got it, you're feeling it at a 6. Keep that number in mind.

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Now, I'd like to guide you through a process to see what happens. Do you have a few more minutes and are you in a fairly private place where you can continue?

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He said: Okay, go ahead.

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I said: Great! Let's start by getting present to your body. If possible, stand up and begin taking some deep breaths, bringing the air all the way down to the bottom of your diaphragm.

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Take at least two or three slow, deep breaths. Let me know when you're doing that and continuing to breathe deeply.

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He said: I've done that.

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I said: Perfect! Now, you're going to be speaking some words. Ideally, you'll say them as loudly as you can. If that's not possible, just speak them as loudly as you're comfortable with—even if it's a whisper.

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The words are: "I am so scared that my health will keep getting worse."

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Can you type that back to me or say it out loud to make sure you've got it?

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He said: I am so scared that my health will keep getting worse.

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I said: Great! Now we're ready for you to speak those words out loud (or as loudly as you can).

 

Remember to say:

"I am so scared that my health will keep getting worse!"

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Here’s how I want you to say it:

1. Say it as loudly as you can.

2. Say it slowly, letting the words trail out.

3. Say it in a wacky, silly voice—like Donald Duck or whatever funny way you want.

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Go ahead and shout it out, and let me know when you've done it!

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He said: I did it.

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I said: Awesome! Now, you're going to do it three more times. Shout it out again, slow and wacky. Let me know when you're ready for the next round!

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He said: I did it again.

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I said: Great! Now go ahead and shout it out again, nice and loud, from the bottom of your lungs. 

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He said: Okay...it's done.

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I said: Fantastic! Now give it everything you've got for this final shout. Really let it out! Tell me when you’ve finished.

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He said: Four times!

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I said: Awesome work! Now take a moment to relax, continuing to breathe deeply into your belly.

 

Once you're settled, bring your attention back to the fear: "I'm scared my health will keep getting worse." As you feel that fear in this new moment, give it a ranking from 0 to 10. What's the number now?

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He said: That's surprising. It's a 2. It doesn't seem like such a big deal.

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I said: That's interesting! Your fear went from a 6 to a 2. What do you think might have happened there?

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Here's what I think: You may have heard the expression "What you resist persists." When we resist fear, it turns into worry, stress, or pressure. The fear you felt about aging was likely being resisted on some level.

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This process we just did is about undoing that resistance, allowing the energy of fear to flow through you rather than getting stuck. That’s why your fear diminished—it started to dissipate as you played with it.

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But here’s the thing: Doing this process once won’t dramatically change your relationship with fear. The habit of resisting fear is deeply ingrained. Undoing fear like this, as playful as it is, needs to be repeated over time to really shift things.

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Here’s how to build lasting change: I want you to take out your phone now and set a recurring alarm—every hour, every three hours, or at least once a day. This will remind you to practice undoing your fear whenever you notice any stress or worry. Let me know when that's done!

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He said: Okay, I set it for twice a day.

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I said: Awesome! Keep that alarm going as a reminder to practice undoing fear regularly. With repetition, it will become second nature, helping you create more peace, energy, and confidence over time.

Feel free to reach out whenever you need to revisit this process. You're on the right path!