Which you prioritize makes all the difference, both for your happiness and the results

​

Do you put your primary focus on choosing courage? Or do you put your primary focus on getting results? Whichever you choose as primary (again and again) will make all the difference in your life.

 

 

Focus on and manage what we can control; the rest is not our business

​

It’s great when we have enough power and/or knowledge so that our actions can guarantee results we want.

 

But the real power and juice of life is not lived in the security of what we already know for sure, is not lived with the assurance  that our actions will always hit the mark, but always on the edge of what we don’t know for sure, and on the precipice of what we cannot guarantee and control.

​

When we live our lives with a primary intention of always getting results, when we begin to judge ourselves on whether or not we got results (in the areas that cannot be guaranteed), when avoiding the fear of not getting results becomes primary, when we limit ourselves in what we’re willing to go for

because we cannot know the outcome for sure, then our life becomes an ever-contracting cage of avoidance.

​

​

Making courage primary makes life easy

 

This is the life that most people live most of the time.

 

On the other hand, when we begin to hold the choice of courage as primary, when we begin to see and act upon the fact that the results of any one choice of courage cannot be guaranteed, when we begin to accept and even play with the fear associated with taking the actions that may or may not

get results we want, when we begin to choose the courage to enjoy the process, independent of whether or not we get results, when we begin to appreciate ourselves consistently for choosing courage each and every time we go for it, regardless of the results, then our life becomes an ever-expanding panorama

of empowerment, accomplishment, and self-expression.

​

​

It's counter-intuitive: prioritizing results will disempower you

 

Why is putting the primary focus on results so disempowering?

 

Because if we don’t get results, we are likely to have thoughts and feelings like these:

​

• “What’s wrong with me?”

• “What’s wrong with them?”

• “What’s wrong with it?”

• “Other people would get results. Why can’t I?”

• “I feel so embarrassed.”

• “Life is so hard.”

• “Life is unfair.”

• “It makes me angry.”

• “I’m not going to try this again.”

​

 

Or more often, we end up not going for the results at all, with likely thoughts and feelings like these:

​

• “I probably wouldn’t get the results I want anyway.”

• “I don’t want to look foolish.”

• “It just feels easier to not go for it.”

• “I don’t deserve it.”

• “I don’t believe I can make a difference.”

• “What will other people think?”

• “I don’t want to feel rejected.”

• “I’m just unlucky.”

• “I want my life to feel safe.”

• “I just want to withdraw.”

• “Life is difficult.”

​

​

Being powerful the easy way

​

 

Why is putting the primary focus on choosing courage so empowering?

 

Because if we don’t get results, we can easily have thoughts and feelings like these:

​

• “I feel good about myself for choosing courage.”

• “I enjoyed the process, even though I didn’t get results I wanted this time.” 

• “I have learned something about how to do it next time.” 

• “I found out the way it may not work; I’ll try another way.”

• “I feel complete and empowered with what happened; now I’m in a resourceful place to choose what’s next.”

• “Feeling good about myself helps me to feel good about others.”

• “Life is such an adventure!”

 

Because if we do get results (which is more likely over time), we can easily have thoughts and feelings like these:

​

• “I feel more confident in my ability to get these results again.”

• “Life is such a bonanza: I enjoyed the process, I feel great about myself, and also, as a very nice extra, I got the results!”

• “Life just gets easier and easier as I continue to put my primary focus on choosing courage.”

​

Either way, whether you get the results you wanted or not, 

you can still say, “I feel so proud of myself for choosing courage to create the life I want.”

 

 

Fundamentally, it about looking at the facts and acting accordingly

​

The fundamental and most poignant difference between “results” and “courage” is an issue of access.

 

Consider these basic facts:

 

• Results are never really guaranteed.  

• There is always a level of risk.

• Results are almost always in the future (whether an immediate or more remote future).

• Courage, in contrast, can always be “guaranteed” in that it is always your choice; to choose courage (or not) is always within your “control.”

• Courage is always in the now. 

• Even to commit yourself to choosing courage in the future is a choice of courage now.

​

​

It's not safer

 

The reason we habitually put the primary focus on results (instead of on choosing courage) is because it seems safer.

 

However, counter-intuitively, the exact opposite is true. To put the primary focus on results, instead of on choosing courage, is more dangerous.  To put the primary focus on choosing courage, instead of on getting results, is safer.

 

Notice the choice of courage it takes to put your primary focus on choosing courage!

 

Honor yourself for that choice (again and again).