Ethics is an engineering science

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The purpose of ethics is to provide a set of guidelines and priorities that help individuals maximize benefits for themselves and others. These benefits encompass both short-term and long-term aspects, aiming to fulfill a life of happiness, joy, self-expression, connection with others, and accomplishment. Ethics guide individuals in making decisions that balance personal well-being, short-term and long-term, with the well-being of others, short-term and long-term, fostering a harmonious and fulfilling existence.

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See A science of ethics.

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Engineering is about "how to"

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To the extent that we already have what a good ethical system is supposed to provide, there is no need to change our current methods of making choices to live a life we love.

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However, this is not the case for most of us. Most of us follow ethical systems (Ethics of Sacrifice) that fail to provide good guidelines for maximizing benefits when conflicts arise between short-term and long-term priorities, and between caring for ourselves and caring for others. Our default guidelines often prioritize the future over the present (perseverance!) and others over ourselves (be a giver and don't be selfish), which can end up minimizing benefits in all four areas.

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​Four fundamentals that are so obvious (once you see them clearly)

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For various reasons, philosophers, religious leaders, and other promoters of ethical guidelines (such as parents, teachers, and civic leaders) have generally overlooked these four obvious fundamentals.

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While there are a few other fundamentals, they can all be inferred from these four. Additionally, since these are fundamental principles, there remains much to be explored in terms of their implementation. That is what much of this Guest House is designed to provide.

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The four rules of ethics (Ethics of Integrity)

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These might be framed as three rules and a major sub-rule.

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Obvious Rule #1: Your (each person's) top priority in life is to take care of yourself.

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• While everyone can make mistakes, including you, no one else is in a better position to know what is most likely to be in your best interest than you are.

• Though others may care about you, no one else has a more consistent motivation to take actions that would serve you best.

• Even if others believe they know better, no one else has the local knowledge (about your immediate environment, both internal and external) that is often crucial in making decisions that best serve you.

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See #1 job and 100% responsible

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Obvious Rule #2: The best ways to take care of yourself often involve finding ways to take care of yourself by also taking care of others (aligning the self-interests of both). [Rule #2 can be seen as a major sub-rule of Rule #1]

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The Old Ethics of Sacrifice villainizes selfishness and implies that taking care of yourself means neglecting others. It creates a dichotomy of giver/taker, generous/greedy, kind/cruel.

 

In reality, the best ways to take care of ourselves often involve finding solutions where our self-interest aligns with the self-interest of others. By seeking mutual benefit, we can create outcomes that are advantageous for everyone involved.

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See Partnership Conversation, Competition for Victimhood, Conditions for all great relationships, and Guidelines for being selfish and altruistic, 

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​Obvious Rule #3: Prioritize designing and living an enjoyable process and journey over the accomplishment of any particular result.

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The Old Ethics of Sacrifice has ingrained the belief that achieving results must be difficult. We are taught that we need to study hard to get good grades, endure pain to achieve fitness, and go hungry to stay healthy and lose weight.​​

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This mindset reflects short-term thinking. Since the purpose of life is to be happy both in the process and the results, assuming that we must endure the process to achieve the result means sacrificing a significant portion of potential happiness. Additionally, if the process is arduous, it will either be avoided or merely tolerated, reducing the likelihood of achieving a quality result. When we prioritize results over the process, which is common for most of us, we are actually less likely to achieve quality outcomes.

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See Getting paid twice, Is it hard to do it the easy way?, Lifestyle first, results second, Persistence on steroids, Process first, De-prioritize results for more results, and What's the full idea of process first?

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Obvious Rule #4: Prioritize discovering which of your beliefs are not true or may not be true.

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Since living the best life involves making better decisions, and making better decisions requires accurate knowledge of what is true and what is not, improving our ability to discern truth is paramount. Even the best decision-making processes will lead to poor outcomes if based on false information. Most people think this means "gathering more knowledge," which is indeed important in many situations.

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However, 99% of the problem lies not in uncovering what we know we are ignorant about, but in discovering the many things we believe to be true (where we think we are knowledgeable) that are actually false or incomplete. See Misverity.

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This may seem an impossible task, as false beliefs are interwoven with the thousands of beliefs we hold that are true. Nevertheless, there are clues that can help us in this treasure hunt to identify and correct the beliefs we hold that are either not true or not completely true.

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How to discover the misverities among all your other beliefs which are true

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Two complementary methods are helpful in rooting out misverities.

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Method #1: noticing absolutism: 

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Notice beliefs you might have in a given circumstance, like "John will come to the party" and "If I ask Jill to come to the party, she will say no" Both these statements imply 100% certainty.

 

Although you might not be able to put an exact percentage on it, if you thought more clearly about it, it would be a more reliable assertion to say, "Given what I know now, there's an 85% chance John will come to the party." 

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Regarding Jill, when considering what you know and don't know more clearly, it would be more accurate to assert, "Given what I know now, if I ask Jill to the party, there's a 95% chance she will say no."

 

See Undoing expectations, Cowards both: optimists and pessimists, and Undoing betrayal.

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Method #2: looking out for clue words​

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Certain words, when they appear in our thoughts or beliefs, serve as a red flag, prompting us to examine the evidence behind the belief or thought more closely. One such word is 'should', which can be used to express a genuine belief, but is often employed to deny or distort reality, indicating a disconnect from what truly is.

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Consider these thoughts/beliefs:

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"I should have kept my agreement to exercise today." (when you didn't)

"You should not speak to your grandmother that way." (when they did)

"People should always tell the truth." (when people often don't)

"My son should not have killed himself." (when he did)

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Although there are scores of top clue words, here are some ring leaders: good, bad, right, wrong, deserve, undeserving, fair, unfair, proper, weird, selfish, duty, and obligation.

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See Cognitive biases, Undoing shoulds: fuzzy words, and Toxic words.

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