Dwight: I’d like to talk with you about an idea, which I’m calling “The Glorious Road to Nowhere.”

​

Aiko: That sounds intriguing, Dwight! What's the concept behind "The Glorious Road to Nowhere"?

​

Dwight: For most people, most of the time, we evaluate the worth of our actions and decisions based on the idea that we’re heading somewhere or aiming to achieve a specific outcome. Does that sound right?

​

Aiko: Yes, exactly! We often tie value to progress or results. How does this idea challenge that approach?

​

Dwight: I’m not interested in challenging the idea of traveling down roads that we expect to lead us somewhere. Those roads are an important part of our lives. I just want to point out that there’s another kind of road, one that offers a different and perhaps deeper kind of value: the road to nowhere.

​

Aiko: I see what you're getting at! You're suggesting that the journey itself, without a defined destination, can have its own intrinsic value. How does this "road to nowhere" provide something deeper?

​

Dwight: Yes, let me give you an example that everyone can relate to or at least imagine. Personally, I have many friendships, and most of them aren’t going anywhere in particular. Yet, they’re an essential part of my life. For about 25 of these friendships, I have regularly scheduled calls or Zoom sessions. Some are weekly, others bi-weekly, a few monthly, and some every three to six months. I always make sure to schedule the next call or session before we finish the current one.

​

Aiko: That's a great example! These friendships aren't tied to any specific goal or destination, yet they hold significant meaning. It seems like you're saying the value lies in maintaining the connection, not in moving toward something specific. Is that right?

​

Dwight: Exactly. We’re not working toward any particular outcome, except maybe the intention to share with each other in ways that we both enjoy and find fulfilling each time.

​

Aiko: That makes sense, Dwight. The value comes from the ongoing connection and mutual enjoyment, rather than any specific result or goal. It’s like the journey itself is the reward. Would you say that’s the essence of the "glorious road to nowhere"?

​

Dwight: Yes. Let me give you another example, one that’s not as common but expresses the same idea. Most people tend to see romantic relationships as something that should lead somewhere. In Asia, that often means marriage, kids, raising them, and eventually supporting grandkids. For me, though, when I enter a romantic relationship, the intent is simply to enjoy each other’s company, deep sharing, adventures, cuddling, making love, and mutual support—without a destination beyond just continuing that.

​

Aiko: That’s a powerful example, Dwight. You’re embracing the present moment in relationships, without the pressure of moving toward traditional milestones. It’s more about the ongoing experience and connection rather than an endpoint. Does this idea also apply to other areas of your life?

​

Dwight: For me, yes. In my career as a life coach, to a large extent, it follows the "glorious road to nowhere." I have around 15 clients at a time, which feels right. I finish with some, gain new ones, and look forward to my sessions with each client. I’m not trying to "build my business" or turn it into something different. It changes over time, but that happens naturally, without any larger destination in mind.

​​

Aiko: That’s really interesting, Dwight. It sounds like you're letting your career evolve without forcing a specific direction or goal, much like your relationships. The focus seems to be on the meaningfulness of each moment, not on chasing external milestones. Does that feel liberating to you?

​​

Dwight: Yes, though I’m so accustomed to this "liberation" that I’m sometimes surprised when I’m reminded that most people don’t experience it.

​

Aiko: That’s interesting! It shows how natural this approach has become for you, while others might still feel bound by the need for goals or outcomes. Do you find that people are curious or resistant when they encounter your perspective?

​

Dwight: They usually aren’t openly resistant. In fact, they often express a desire for what I have. But when it comes to actually changing their mindset or implementing habits like under-promising or building buffer time into their day, their actions speak louder than their words.

​

Aiko: I see. It sounds like they admire the idea but struggle with the follow-through when it comes to shifting their habits. Do you think it’s because they’re too attached to their current way of measuring success?

​​

Dwight: That’s part of it. Most people’s identities are tied to the idea of achieving something in the future, where they believe it will finally be enough—though that rarely turns out to be true.

​

Aiko: That’s a profound observation, Dwight. People often chase future accomplishments, hoping they’ll bring fulfillment, but it tends to be elusive. 

​

Dwight: Are you familiar with the book "Finite and Infinite Games" by the philosopher Carse?

​

Aiko: Yes, I’m familiar with it! Carse explores the difference between "finite games," which have clear rules, goals, and endpoints, and "infinite games," where the purpose is to keep the game going, without a final goal. Are you drawing a connection between your "glorious road to nowhere" and the idea of playing an infinite game?

​

Dwight: Yes, my idea of the glorious road to nowhere is an infinite game.

​

Aiko: That makes perfect sense! Just like an infinite game, the journey on this road isn’t about reaching a final destination but about continuing the experience and finding meaning in the process itself. Do you think framing life this way changes how people experience fulfillment?

​

Dwight: I wouldn’t say it changes how people experience fulfillment. It just highlights an important, often overlooked way to bring more fulfillment into our lives.

​

Aiko: I see what you mean. It’s not about replacing the pursuit of goals, but rather about recognizing and embracing a different path that can add richness to our lives. Do you think this balance between the two is key?

​

Dwight: Yes. And that balance may look different for each of us at different times in our lives. Most people, however, tend to overlook the happiness and fulfillment that can come from the glorious roads to nowhere, allowing finite games to take over. For instance, many don’t have structures in place to maintain these roads. After a fulfilling visit, they’ll say, “Hey, this was great. Let’s get together again soon!” but nothing gets scheduled, and months or even years pass with no follow-up and another glorious road disappears from their life. With our addiction to "busyness" that our finite games demand, these glorious roads often fall into disuse and are forgotten.

​​

Aiko: That’s a great point. The absence of intentional support structures, along with the constant pull of finite goals, can make it easy for these deeper, more fulfilling connections and experiences to fade away. Do you think creating more of those structures could help people better nurture their "infinite games"?

​​

Dwight: Yes, structures are important. However, as long as we keep prioritizing results over a sustainable and enjoyable process as the default in our lives, even those structures won’t hold. I can already hear it: "Sorry, Jack, I’ve got to cancel our catch-up call. Not sure when I can reschedule—there’s just too much I have to do."

​​

Aiko: That’s so true. Without a shift in mindset, even the best intentions fall apart when the pressure of "doing" takes over. It seems like the key isn’t just creating structures but also redefining priorities to truly value these ongoing connections.