Every pain or fear in your life is one of two types: necessary and unnecessary.

 

Necessary pain and fear account for less than ten percent of all the pain and fear we feel.

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Unnecessary pain, which I call suffering, makes up more than ninety percent of all the pain and fear we feel.

 

 

Examples of unnecessary pain (suffering)

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• Animosity

• Anxiety

• Bitterness

• Blame

• Boredom 

• Busyness

• Complaining

• Crankiness

• Cynicism

• Deadlines

• Defensiveness

• Depression

• Disappointment or upset (unmet expectations)

• Feeling abandoned

• Feeling betrayed

• Feeling disrespected

• Feeling lonely

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling pressured

• Feeling unloved

• Frustration

• Guilt

• Hatred

• Indecisiveness

• Impatience

• Jealousy

• Lack of self-confidence

• Lack of self-esteem

• Laziness

• Perfectionism

• Procrastination

• Regret

• Resentment

• Resignation

• Self-consciousness

• Self-criticism

• Self-suppression 

• Seriousness

• Shame

• Shoulds and should nots

• Shyness

• Stress

• Worry

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Each one of these is a direct result of resisting and making wrong the necessary pain and fear. 

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Note carefully, however, that these resistances are automatic. They are already learned and a part of your machinery.  Open the doors above to the suites where you can learn to un-resist those automatic resistances.

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"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure

instead of having pain and pleasure use you.

If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you."

—Anthony Robbins (Awaken the Giant Within)