The importance of self-esteem

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Self-esteem is fundamental to having both a life of quality and an enjoyable life of accomplishment.

 

Self-esteem is the reputation you have with yourself. It is the core knowing that you are both competent to live and worthy of living a great life.

 

Source of self-esteem

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Often we think self-esteem comes from how others view us and relate to us. Certainly, this is a factor, especially when we are children and we're old enough where it begins to feel important how we occur for others.

 

Attaching self-esteem to things we do or to our accomplishment

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Sometimes we think that self-esteem comes from specific things that we have or do. Men often attach their self-esteem to their work. Women often attach their self-esteem to their partner or their children.

 

Self-esteem by comparison

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Often people will base their self-esteem on being better than someone else, belonging to a certain group, religion, or country, having a better education than others, belonging to a higher class than others, being richer than others, being more altruistic than others, dressing better than or different from others, and so on and so on.

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All these "sources" of self-esteem are shoddy and unreliable

 

Dr. Nathaniel Branden, the author of many books about self-esteem, coined the term pseudo-self-esteem to denote self-esteem that is propped up by these shoddy methods.

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• If you lose your job, your self-esteem suffers.

• If you're no longer needed as a caretaker, your sense of self is on the rocks.

• If you don't accomplish the result you were going for, you criticize yourself.

• If important people withdraw their approval or are disappointed in you, you feel bad about yourself.

• If someone says "no" to you or rejects you, you think less of yourself.

• If your relative status with others is not sufficient, you feel out of sorts.

• If you act against your standards of what you think a good person should do, you blame yourself.

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Your "self-esteem" is always in danger of falling down.

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Choosing courage is the key to unshakeable self-esteem

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The fundamental source of true self-esteem is the choice of courage.

 

Every time you choose courage, higher self-esteem is the automatic result. Every time you default in not choosing courage, every time you default on not addressing Now-Next Integrity as it relates to fear, lower self-esteem is the automatic result.

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Self-esteem is a by-product of choosing courage. It is not something you or others can talk yourself into.

Next time you default on choosing courage, notice how your reputation with yourself deteriorates immediately.

 

Look for an opportunity to choose courage and notice how your reputation with yourself improves immediately.