Dwight: Let's dive into a foundational concept I'm developing, which I call "funding promises."

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Aiko: That sounds intriguing, Dwight. Are you thinking of "funding promises" as a formal financial commitment, or more like an implied social contract tied to investment and support?

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Dwight: No, not at all. I'm referring to the everyday commitments we make to ourselves or others—statements that don’t necessarily include the word "promise." Examples include things like, "I'll call you within a week," "I'll finish this project by March 1st," "I'll meet you next Wednesday at 3:00 pm," "I'll sign two new clients before the month ends," or "I'll lose 23 pounds by August."

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Aiko: Got it! So these are more like personal or professional commitments that shape expectations, whether or not they're explicitly labeled as promises. Are you exploring how these function psychologically, socially, or in terms of accountability?

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Dwight: My thesis is that most of us, most of the time, make these commitments—either thinking them or saying them—perhaps genuinely believing we’ll follow through. However, we leave them "unfunded," meaning they’re more like wishes than actual promises, making them unreliable as something we can truly count on.

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Aiko: That’s a sharp insight. So by "unfunded," do you mean that there's no real plan, resources, or structure in place to support these commitments? In other words, they lack the necessary backing to turn intention into reality?

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Dwight: Yes, you’re starting to see the concept. Take this example: I say, “I’ll complete this project by March 1st,” which is 17 days away. To truly fund that promise, I’d first estimate the total hours required—while deliberately overestimating—let’s say 12 hours. Then, I’d immediately schedule two-hour work blocks on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for the next 14 days. But scheduling alone isn’t enough. If I suspect that my future self might not be motivated when those time slots arrive, I’d use creativity and strategic planning to increase the likelihood that I’d follow through. That’s what it means to actively fund a promise.

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Aiko: That makes a lot of sense. So funding isn’t just about allocating time but also about anticipating resistance and setting up conditions that make follow-through more probable. Would you say that an unfunded promise is essentially one that lacks these structural supports?

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Dwight: Structure is often a necessary part of it, along with getting more specific in the details of the implementation process—ensuring that we can and will follow through. Even then, successfully funding a promise doesn’t always guarantee the end result. However, in many cases, it can increase the likelihood of achieving the promised outcome from as low as 10% to over 95%.

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Aiko: That’s a huge shift in probability! It sounds like funding is about making success the default rather than something that happens only if motivation strikes at the right moment. Do you see this as a skill people can develop, or is it more about mindset?

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Dwight: Well, I suppose a mindset shift might be the first step—if by that we include recognizing the short-term benefits we get from not funding our promises. We’d need to honestly assess those benefits and then decide whether they’re truly worth the long-term costs.

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Aiko: That’s an interesting way to frame it. So, in a sense, unfunded promises offer an immediate reward—maybe less effort, avoiding discomfort, or staying in our comfort zone—but at the cost of future trust in ourselves and real progress. Would you say the key is making those trade-offs more conscious?

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Dwight: Let’s break down the specific short-term benefits we get from not funding our promises.

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Aiko: Sure! Some likely benefits include avoiding effort and discomfort, keeping flexibility instead of committing to a fixed plan, dodging potential failure (since an unfunded promise can remain a hopeful possibility rather than a real test), and maintaining the illusion of progress without actually doing the hard work. Would you add anything else?

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Dwight: Yes, you're in the ballpark. The benefits vary in degree depending on the person and the specific promise left unfunded. Here are several: (1) We avoid the discomfort of saying no—either to others or ourselves—and don’t have to face the reality of scaling back what we can or are willing to do. (2) We get to enjoy the feeling of success in advance, counting our chickens before they hatch, without confronting the effort and uncertainty of actually making it happen. (3) We gain the immediate, seemingly cost-free benefit of making someone happy or feeling good about ourselves for committing to something we think we should do. (4) We avoid facing the larger pattern that we are chronically over-promising and under-funding, maintaining the ego-pleasing illusion that we can do more than we realistically can or even want to. (5) We escape a deeper responsibility: ensuring that our future self—our "Next"—has what they need to follow through, rather than constantly leaving them stranded with underfunded commitments.

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Aiko: That’s a powerful breakdown. It seems like the avoidance isn’t just about a single promise but often about protecting a self-image—one where we’re capable, well-intentioned, and in control. Do you think the key to shifting this is making the costs of these short-term benefits more visible?

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Dwight: Given that the benefits of consistently funding our promises are enormous—though mostly realized in the future—the only logical explanation for why we don’t already do this is that, in our internal "calculus," we’re unconsciously valuing certain short-term benefits even more. If we can uncover these hidden benefits (which probably don’t have great PR), acknowledge their immediate appeal, and then contrast them with the longer-term rewards of funding our promises—doing this in the moment of making a commitment—this heightened awareness will likely lead to one of two outcomes: either we fully fund the promise, or we choose not to make it at all.

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Aiko: That makes perfect sense. So the goal isn’t just to force ourselves to fund every promise but to develop the awareness and honesty to either commit fully or recognize when it’s better not to commit at all. Do you think this process naturally builds self-trust over time?

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Dwight: Of course. Not only will we feel better about ourselves and develop a deeper confidence in our own word, but our reputation with others will likely skyrocket, bringing its own rewards. The benefits of funding promises are relatively obvious with just a little thought, whereas the hidden benefits of not funding them tend to be more subtle and insidious.

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More broadly, this increased trust—both in ourselves and from others—is a crucial part of achieving Now-Next Integrity. This means resolving the ongoing civil conflict between our Now, which prioritizes feeling good in the moment (or avoiding immediate discomfort), and our Next, which is responsible for long-term happiness and avoiding future pain. This fundamental struggle is at the heart of human nature, and one of the major ways we perpetuate it is by making promises that we don’t fund.

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Aiko: That’s a profound connection. So in a way, the habit of making unfunded promises isn’t just about specific commitments—it’s a symptom of the deeper struggle between present comfort and future well-being.

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Dwight: For this discussion, we won’t dive too deep into the how-tos of building the habit of funding our promises. However, a solid first step is simply developing awareness—especially in the moment—of when we’re about to make an unfunded promise.

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One way to cultivate this awareness is by setting a daily recurring alarm on our phone (or multiple alarms throughout the day). When the alarm goes off, we ask ourselves: "Since the last time I checked, have I made any promises that I’ve left unfunded?" Then, we set the intention to stay aware until the next alarm of whether we are funding any promise we are about to make.

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Aiko: That’s a clever and practical approach. It builds self-awareness without requiring any drastic changes upfront. Do you think just becoming aware of these unfunded promises—without even forcing action at first—would naturally lead to a shift in behavior?

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Dwight: Yes. Let’s start funding our promises. Otherwise, in some ways, we’re just like those people we all know who live in a fantasy world—where there’s a huge gap between what they say will happen, what they say they’ll do, and what actually gets done.

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Aiko: Exactly! It’s easy to judge others for this, but the real opportunity is catching it in ourselves. Once we see that gap clearly in our own commitments, it becomes a lot harder to ignore.

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