Our language gives us no words to celebrate quitting

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We have countless words that celebrate perseverance: sticking to it, fortitude, diligence, persistence, tenacity, determination, loyalty, and phrases like "just do it" or "never give up." But there’s a glaring absence in our language when it comes to honoring the wisdom of knowing when to quit—of courageously deciding to stop, change course, or break our commitments for the sake of something greater.

 

 

Let's learn to celebrate quitting

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Quitting, when done wisely, is an essential skill. Recognizing when we’re on the wrong path and having the courage to change direction may be one of the most overlooked virtues in life.

 

 

Very few have pointed out the wisdom of quitting

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Think of Kenny Rogers' famous line from "The Gambler":

 

"You got to know when to hold ’em; know when to fold ’em."

 

What kind of poker teacher would insist you play every hand, regardless of new information? Yet the messages we get from our parents, our teachers, all our vaulted heroes all support the party line of "never give up." I have found only one other voice in the wilderness (W.C. Fields) that has pointed out the stupidity of this.

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"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it."

 

 

Quitaverance

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In life, we sometimes need to fold too. We need a word for this essential wisdom. Let’s call it “quitaverance.” Quitaverance is the art of recognizing when an action no longer serves our highest values and deepest desires—and then finding the courage to stop, quit, or change course.

 

In small, everyday matters, we already practice quitaverance without hesitation. If we can’t unclog a drain, we call a plumber. When dealt a bad hand in poker, we fold. If a first date doesn’t want a second, we move on. If an emergency arises, we cancel previous commitments.

 

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Using quitaverance where it will count the most

 

However, when faced with life’s bigger decisions—ending a marriage, breaking off a relationship, leaving a job, quitting college, or moving away, or even with the issue of when to die—we often resist the idea of quitting. We view it as failure, instead of a brave realignment with our true path.

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Quitaverance and perseverance in partnership...

 

Quitaverance isn’t the enemy of perseverance; the two work together, like the left and right hands in harmony.

 

Reflect on your own life: How might things have changed if you'd embraced quitaverance when necessary?

 

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Looking for opportunities for quitaverance

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How could you incorporate quitaverance, alongside perseverance, as a guiding principle in your daily life?

What positive impact might that have?

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When in your past have you had the courage to quit and found that it was the best decision for you and those around you?

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Now, ask yourself:

 

"What opportunity for quitaverance exists in my life today? Am I ready to embrace it?"