Undoing fear

The foremost valuable life practice

The practice of undoing our fear, whenever it arises, is the one most valuable life practice that, not only solves many problems, but also suffuses into all areas of our lives, creating a new threshold of peace, fulfillment, and energy.

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You'll know how to quickly remove these problems with Undoing fear

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• Worry and anxiety

• Feeling pressured and overwhelmed

• Stress

• Impatience with yourself or others

• Waiting for something to be over

• Defensiveness

• Blame, anger and irritability

• Indecisiveness and hesitancy

• Lack of confidence

• Avoiding thinking about or doing something

• Feeling that something is hard

• Difficulties making requests

• Difficulties saying "no"

• Difficulties in setting and maintaining boundaries with others

• Reluctance to express and share openly

• Not staying in communication, ignoring someone

• Guilt, feeling regrets

• Perfectionism

• Justifying yourself to others

• Trying to control others

• Shyness

• Loneliness

• Embarrassment

• Jealousy and envy

• Setting yourself up to feel upset or betrayed

• Uneasiness or awkwardness

• And scores of others
   

Undoing resisted fear

What is meant by “undoing fear”? To speak more accurately, we should say, “undoing resisted fear" or "undoing dufear." Unresisted fear is not a problem; it provides us with energy and even confidence, flowing through us and for us, dissipating when no longer needed.
 

The many faces of resisted fear

Most of us, however, never or rarely experience unresisted fear. Our chronic, resisted fear dominates our lives and arises in the various forms of worry, anxiety, stress, feeling pressured, defensiveness, overwhelm, depression, resentment, shyness, disappointment, procrastination, indecision, seriousness, busyness, perfectionism, OCD, over-promising, lack of presence, irritation and anger, blaming others, feeling awkward, and even blaming ourselves (guilt). All of this suffering is either partially or entirely the consequence of our deep-seating habit of resisting our fear.

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This toxic habit runs deep

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Fear is a natural emotion, yet our society has conditioned us to believe that it is something to be avoided or overcome at all costs. We have been taught from a young age to confront, ignore, or even overcome fear. This deep-rooted habit of resisting fear can drain our energy and undermine our confidence, causing us to fight against ourselves. This resistance can do more harm than good. Acknowledging and embracing our fears helps us to conserve our energy and boost our self-assurance. By recognizing that fear is a normal part of the human experience, we can learn to live more fully and authentically, without constantly battling against ourselves.

When we resist our fear, we are unable to make use of its natural power to give us energy and confidence.

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Reclaiming your energy and confidence

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The undoing fear process is the antidote to the toxic results that are created from resisted fear. Undoing fear has three components that are performed simultaneously.

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1. Breathe slowly and deeply, fully inhaling and exhaling from your belly.

2. Speak aloud (if possible, otherwise silently in your head) a specially constructed sentence. This sentence has two parts. The first part is always the same. The second part varies to reflect the content of the specific resisted fear that is being undone. The first part is, “Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I’m so scared that…” You could select a different exclamatory phrase at the beginning, such as “Wow,” “Egads,” or “Holy Smokes.” The second part will express the specific fear, as in, “...people are thinking badly of me!” or “...I might not do good on the test!” or “...I might die soon!” As a complete example, “Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I am so scared that people are thinking badly of me!”

3. As you’re belly breathing, speak your specially constructed sentence slowly and loudly, while using a silly, wacky voice.

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Listen to a demonstration in English by Dwight GoldWinde

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"Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I am so scared she's going to reject me!"

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In Chinese by Heidi Yang

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"Oh my god, I am so scared they will be upset!"

Test it for yourself

Even though I have trained thousands of people through this process and they’ve all gotten good results, I don’t want you to believe me without testing it for yourself. Don’t “think it.” You’ve got to do it in order to feel its results. Because of my experience, however, I can confidently predict that, with as few as four speakings of the undoing fear sentence (constructed for your specific fear), you will notice a fresh feeling of peace, energy, lightness, and confidence. To ensure that you’ve taken enough “antidote,” I recommend speaking it eleven times.

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As a way to measure the effectiveness of this process, give your fear level a score beforehand (1 = just a bit of fear, 10 = very strong fear). After you've done the "Holy cats..." between four and eleven times, re-score your fear level. Note the difference!

Compose your very own "Holy cats..." expression.

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Also check out, Holy moly and jeepers weepers.

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But there’s a rub

After one good test (undoing one of your fears), you’ll know that this process is effective. Just doing this process once or occasionally will not dramatically change your life for the better. The habit of resisting fear is deeply set. Although each time you undo a fear, you’ll get immediate results, to begin to loosen and unseat the resisting-fear habit and to create a new habit of “playing with your fear,” will take hundreds of repetitions. It’s a bit like going to the gym. You can’t just go once and be done with exercising if you're expecting to get full and lasting value.

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How to establish deep and lasting value

Since you’ll be getting immediate benefits with each practice of undoing fear, that’s not a problem, as long as you can create an ongoing practice of doing it.

Right now, hopefully (assuming you’ve tested the process to confirm that it works for you), you’re thinking, “I’m going to use this whenever I notice I’m worrying or have anxiety.” If you don’t take any more action to ensure follow-through, this intention will surely go the same path as most New Year’s resolutions, namely, the path to nowhere.

Instead, take out your mobile phone now. Stop reading and do this: Set a recurring alarm (every hour, every three hours, or, at minimum, once a day). Keep this recurring alarm going. Every time you hear the alarm (if you notice any resisted fear), take yourself through undoing fear to create peace, energy, lightness, and confidence. Good news: after practicing undoing fear for a few months using the alarms to remind you, your unconscious mind will take over to remind you to do it, whenever it might be helpful.

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Different expressions of resisted fear

Resisted, dammed-up fear (or dufear) dons many masks. Here is a more complete list of the expressions of corrupted fear:

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Obvious symptoms of dufear

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• Anxiety

• Nervousness

• Shyness

• Worry

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Semi-obvious symptoms of dufear

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• Anger

• Embarrassment

• Indecisiveness

• Jealousy

• Lying

• No (not saying "no")

• OCD

• Over promising

• Overprotective

• Overwhelmed

• Pressured (feeling pressured)

• Requests (not making requests)

• Self-consciousness

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Non-obvious symptoms of dufear (hidden dufear)

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• Accommodating (resistance to being accommodating)

• Animosity, hatred

• Annoyance, irritation

• Apology (not willing to give an apology)

• Arrogance

• Assertive (resistance to being assertive)

• Authenticity (lack of authenticity)

• Betrayed (feeling betrayed)

• Blaming another, judgmentalness

• Boredom

• Busyness

• Complaining

• Criticalness, blaming others

• Cynicism

• Defensiveness

• Depression

• Disappointment

• Envy

• Expectations

• Feeling blocked to take some action

• Goal setting, lack of

• Gossiping

• Guilt

• Hatred

• Impatience

• Impulsiveness

• Inflexibility

• Ingratitude

• Insensitivity

• Intolerance

• Job, tolerating your

• Laziness

• Lying

• Nationalism

• Not enough money (feeling you don't have enough money)

• Not enough time (feeling you don't have enough time)

• Not good enough (feeling you're not good enough)

• Obsessiveness

• Over controlling

• Perfectionism

• Persistence (when persistence would not make sense)

• Planning (lack of planning)

• Presence (lack of presence)

• Procrastination

• Promises (resistance to making promises)

• Promises (resistance to breaking promises)

• Promises (resistance to keeping promises)

• Quitting (when quitting would not make sense)

• Racism

• Rebelliousness

• Relationships (poor relationships from not creating good boundaries)

• Religious intolerance

• Reluctance to do something you want to do

• Resentment

• Resignation

• Results, putting results ahead of enjoying the process

• Righteousness

• Rudeness

• Self-confidence (feeling low self-confident)

• Self-expression (lack of self-expression)

• Self-esteem (feeling low self-esteem)

• Seriousness, being significant

• Sexism

• Shame

• Spontaneity (lack of spontaneity)

• Stress

• Stubbornness

• Tolerating anything or anyone

• Truth (telling the truth)

• Trying

• Unresourceful (feeling unresourceful)

• Victim (feeling like a victim, feeling something is unfair)

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If you’re unclear about how to apply undoing fear to one of these problems, search for that problem (your problem?) to gain clarity of how to apply the process. Or checkout the Tools list.

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Undoing fear is the first go-to in your life toolbox

You can use it to either solve or ameliorate the majority of most life problems. Master this practice.

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Summary

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Resisted fear is largely responsible for almost all your suffering. Make friends with that fear and your suffering will disappear. Un-resist your fear with just three steps taken together:

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1) Belly breathe

2) Speak, "Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I am so scared that (whatever you are frightened will happen)!"

3) Speak it loudly, slowly, and with a silly, wacky voice eleven times.

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Other people solved these similar problems:

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Undoing worry

Undoing expectations

Undoing stress

Undoing guilt

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Super important note:

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The "Holy cats..." process, although immensely powerful on its own, becomes a super hero when combined with the other three steps of choosing courage. Check out courage to learn and apply consistently all four steps of choosing courage.

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Customize the "Holy cats..." process (to give it a bit more oomph)

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