Undoing overwhelm

Do you get overwhelmed?

Most of us get overwhelmed sometimes. Some of us live in a constant state of overwhelm.

​

​

Overwhelm, most often, is both an internal and external problem

Overwhelm usually has two aspects that need to be addressed.

​

​

The inner problem

First, overwhelm is a form of fear. We are frightened of what will happen if we don’t get everything done.

Because our deep habit is to resist our fear, what we are feeling is not simply fear, it is resisted fear (dufear).

Therefore, the first step in dealing with overwhelm is to embrace our fear by taking deep breaths,

breathing into our fear, and saying to ourselves (out loud, if possible), “Holy moly and jeepers weepers, am I scared!” several times.

​

By doing this, we can begin to align with the energy of our fear so that we can tap into that energy and use it for good purposes. Often, this exercise alone will provide us with the sense of resourcefulness needed to dispel the overwhelm and get the job done.

​

​

The outer problem

However, there is often a second aspect of overwhelm.

Our overwhelm, our fear is trying to tell us that something is off, that the design of our life and our choices are not working. This occurs most often when, instead of focusing on creating our life so that we can enjoy the process of getting to wherever we are going, we create our life (either by default or by design)

as a series of tasks and goals, in which the primary focus is just getting things done.

​

This also occurs when we live out of the idea that we can do it/have it all, or that we have to prove something or make up for the past.

We can never “do it all.”  For every “yes” we choose, we must choose a thousand “nos.”

​

​

Reprioritizing our life to put an enjoyable and sustainable process first and accomplishments second

To begin to redesign our life, to choose to do things we love, to cancel old choices, to say “no” to what we put on our plate, to renegotiate our agreements, to say “no” to others and even to ourselves, often requires a choice of courage. It includes remaining aware that our #1 job is to take care of ourselves.

​

Our unwillingness to say “no” to others is most often driven by a fear of disapproval or a desperate desire for approval. Our unwillingness to put more focus on enjoying the process is most often driven by our fear that we won’t survive if we let go of trying to tightly control the outcomes of our lives.

Take a moment to examine how your overwhelm may be related to your prior unwillingness to choose courage.

How might you choose courage now to address the overwhelm in your life?

​