Although time-binding bestowed unprecedented power upon mankind, it also gave us problems we weren’t prepared for. Time-binding is the human ability, unique within the animal kingdom, to be conscious of and live inside of the past, the future, as well as the now. This contrasts with all other animals who are conscious only of the now and the very near now.

 

For millennia, maybe even from that time in evolutionary history where we humans transitioned from in-the-moment, Chimpanzee-like animals to time-binding humans (where our identity in language was created through time), mankind has lived inside the premise that resistance to something is necessary to get along in this world. Yet, it is this resistance that causes our suffering.

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What is the evidence that happiness is our natural state and unhappiness arises from resisting what is?

 

We can see it in young children, generally those younger than four or five. Children are the happiest people in the world. Yes, they get upset from time to time. They cry. They vent anger without blame. They express themselves fully, not resisting the natural desire to express their displeasure or excitement or happiness. But, in case of an upset, maybe just ten minutes later, it’s as if they were never unhappy. We adults often live in constant resistance and unhappiness. 

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I was still a victim

 

One time my former step-son, he was four years old then, and I got in a tiff. Within seven minutes he was over it and wanted to play again. I was still plugged in and still blaming him.

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Children learn from adults how to be unhappy

 

Children copy us adults and learn from their peers

 

They learn that “it’s not cool” to just express everything. They learn what’s “good,”  what they’ll be praised for and what’s “bad,” what they’ll be blamed for. They learn to worry about the future. They learn to take control of all this internally, making sure they praise or blame themselves even before others can do it. They take up residence inside the HOGAB. 

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Self-censorship

 

At ages five to seven, they learn to self-censor their verbal expressions. Before five years old, my step-son was fully self-expressed, with no censorship between what he thought and felt and what came out of his mouth and what showed up on his face. Then, step by step, by age seven, he became a mini-adult, a self-censoring machine. His natural happiness faded away.

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There’s a different way

 

In fact, we adults and parents most often consider it our job to teach children the difference between good and bad, right and wrong. It is the rare parent who, when noticing their child has a conflict, sits down with that child, once the child can begin to bind time, and says, “I wonder if there might be a way to enjoy now and be happy at bedtime also? Do you have any ideas about that?” Or, if there is some conflict the child has with either the parent or someone else, the parent asks, “I want you to take care of yourself here. But I am also curious if we might find a way for both of us to be happy?"
 

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The source of all unhappiness

 

All internal conflicts, all unhappiness, are comprised of conflicts that arise from resistance between your Now, being happy now and your Next, being happy in the future, or resistance between your Oneself, taking care of yourself) and your Others, taking care of others and looking good to others. These conflicts have arisen from the belief, the idea, that we have to choose one or the other, which gave rise to the old ethics: the belief in good and bad, right and wrong. This idea puts us at war within ourselves. It pits each person against him or herself having to choose now or choose the future, as well as having each of us wage a recurring battle between taking care of ourselves and taking care of and looking good to others.

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Each of your four parts has an important job to do