Do you contaminate your problems by shoulding them?

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Problems are only problems when we have issues with the problem. Another way we express that is to say that the problem is problematic.

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If we have no issues with a problem, then the problem will just be interesting or fun to try to work out or solve. And, even though we want to solve the problem, we'll be okay with not solving it and accepting things just as they are.

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Issues only arise when we indulge (by default) in a should belief (a belief that is not true and resists what is regarding the problem).

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Keeping fit as a problem

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For example, let's say your problem is how to keep fit.

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Simply stated, the problem is re-designing certain aspects of your life so that the path of least resistance will have you consistently taking those actions that will develop and maintain a certain level of intended fitness.

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How to contaminate a problem...

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This problem will only start to occur as problematic when you have beliefs or thoughts like,

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"I shouldn't be so lazy."

"Something's wrong with being out of shape."

"I should be able to just keeping going to the gym."

"It shouldn't take so long to figure out how to do this. I should just do it."

"I've got to prove that I can do this."

"I'm going to feel bad about myself if I fail again at this."

"I should be as fit as my friend Jamie."

"Other people can do this...why is this so hard for me?"

"I'm not going to be okay until I'm in good shape again."

"I just need more will power."

"I don't have enough courage."

"I can't give up on this problem."

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The HOGAB, the source of all suffering

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Our attachment to living inside the HOGAB and our indulgence in shoulding (and should-noting) consistently has us believing and thinking what is not true and that denies reality. 

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Problems are good things. In fact, it can be a great idea to find bigger problems to take on. For example, have you considered taking on the problem of being a centurist? Now that is a BIG problem!

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Yes, we have that tendency to add shouldings to our problems. Notice that. Learn to question those should beliefs. ​Turn those beliefs around and look for supporting evidence for the should beliefs that say, "Things should be exactly as they are."  See Byron Katie's resources.

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"When you fight with reality, you lose. But only 100% of the time."

—Byron Katie

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"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life.

But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first,

some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.

Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life."

—Father Alfred D'Souza