Why is being powerless a problem?

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You are powerless...

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• to run a mile in 30 seconds.

• to continue to live without continuing to breathe.

• to live for very long in this world without interactions with others.

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Hardly any of us have a problem with being powerless regarding these types of factual conditions. We just accept these facts almost without considering them as limitations we need to design our life around.

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Although you may have a minimal amount of influence with massive effort, for all intents and purposes, you are powerless...

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• to effect who will be the next president of the USA or to be the next leader of China.

• to guarantee that your behavior will never hurt someone you love.

• to ensure that your kids will not lie to you.

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Unless you find you're able to have some influence through some thoughtful and persistent action or conversation, then otherwise you are powerless...

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• to change your criticizing mother so that her behavior toward you consistently occurs as loving.

• to convince your micro-managing boss to allow you the space to manage yourself.

• to get your girlfriend to forgive you for sleeping with her best friend.

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In many important instances, after you have taken the specific actions that you know and are willing to take to get a specific result, you will get that result or not. If you did not get it, then you have been powerless...

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• in cooking a meal everyone will be happy with.

• in getting a specific prospective buyer to say "yes."

• in preventing yourself from catching a cold.

• in passing the exam that you're planning to take.

• in preventing your boyfriend from being upset with you the next time you're together.

• in getting your friend to come to your birthday party.

• in falling asleep as quickly as you would like.

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For many other life instances, almost always, you are NOT powerless to...

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• brush your teeth when you want to.

• ask someone to hire you.

• say "no" to a friend who invited you to a party.

• quit your job.

• choose courage to speak up in class.

• dial a number of a colleague.

• heat up a container of food from the refrigerator.

• file for divorce.

• decide not to buy the pizza.

• find five minutes sometime during your day to close your eyes and relax.

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Being powerless is not the problem

 

Thinking that you shouldn't be powerless when you (often) are: that's the problem. That is fighting with reality. That will actually make you less effective than you could otherwise be. To undo the believe, "I shouldn't be powerless to ...," use Undoing Fear with the words, "Holy cats and jeepers creepers, I'm so scared what will happen if I am powerless to ..." You could also undo this type of belief by using the Byron Katie technique as described in the video Unfighting with Reality. More specifically, download One-belief-at-a-time worksheet from Byron Katie Resources to explore your belief, "I should not be powerless to ..."